The Honest Mixer
I really like (and crave) connecting with people. I also love hosting events and gathering.
Apparently I do have power over my own life so here am I. Hosting events to connect with people.
What can possibly go wrong? (so far nothing that I am aware, thank god, but I'm terrified about all of this, I can not lie)
I also like to write, so here we go, writing about the events where I connect with people.
00
Vulnerable Wander
What do you mean I can actually take control over my own life and do something about this horrible feeling of wanting human connection and not having it?
That was kind of the question I was asking to my therapist a random day in April or May 2023. I was very upset over the idea of not having the type of deep conversations you have with a friend at 2 AM while walking towards the public transport after a fun night.
Where can you find those random and magical conversations? I was ruminating about it for a couple of weeks, of course. I attended to other 'similar' events. I googled some... stuff... but in one of my artistic attacks (as usual) I decided to do something about it, and I did it in the only way I know how to, opening Canva.com and creating something to invite people to talk with me. If you are going to expose yourself out there, you better pick a nice font and pretty colours. #DesignerBarbie.
I proceed to spend a solid 2 hours playing around with Chat GPT to find the right name, scrolling in coolors.co to find the perfect pallet and designing maybe 10 different something to post on my Instagram. Once it was ready it hit me. WTF. What are you doing? What if nobody says anything and you just made a fool of yourself? What if people find you cringey? What if you can not take control over the situation and you can only have those random and magical conversation in the wild?
I was terrified, solid panic of exposing myself. What would my friends, family and random acquaintances from life think about this? 😶
I posted it.
I run to make myself a panic ball in front of the TV for an hour or so.
I finally took my phone and open Instagram.
It had likes and comments of people being actively interested.
I breath and may have or not cried a little bit in relief and excitement. But mostly relief. What a horrible hour I had just spent hahahaha
And just like that, something was happening.
Why 'Vulnerable Wander'?
I had meet someone who introduced me to the wonders of wandering and letting your brain to focus on other things besides the usual self centered narratives. That reminded me of all the times I had the best conversation ever while walking very late at night. I was craving what felt like the type of conversations you can only have while walking.
10/10 highly recommend to wander and talk
Later, I also found out how amazing is to discover places the otherwise you wouldn't have found 💖
01
First Walks
A format was created. I wanted to have some structure or system to ensure it was a nice experience.
Apparently having a limited time, some general guidelines and a strong closure was the key factor for a successful event. So there it was, after some more hours of #DesignerBarbie, the design trying to explain the idea of the walks.
The walks were very successful in my totally biased opinion. I got to discover how amazing people is, how many interesting ideas they have to share, their view of the world made me wonder how many more ideas and world views I was pending to hear. It was a truly great experience. I collected some insights, new ways to think about my own life, very cool and catchy phrases, plans and in general the sense of connection I was craving.
After some walks, another pivotal moment. I attended an event of people also looking to connect. Thanks to the format, I could gather some strength to say out loud I was interested in hosting events, but I didn't knew where to start or how to do it. OUT LOUD. I'm not sure which weird spirit have possessed me to catch the courage to start acting on the ideas that have been living in the back of my mind since... forever.
And just like that, something was changing and I found the first co-host.
02
Migratory Grief
Where do the topic came from: We wanted to have a 'hard' conversation, and uncomfortable conversations with people.
Co-Host: Peter
Highlight: The first event ever. Overall better than expected.
Favorite question of the night: What do you think you can learn from grief?
I was very worried about the topic. It sounded very edgy and difficult. But it turned out any topic can be a nice conversation topic with the right questions and the right people.
01
Death and Grief
Where do the topic came from: We wanted to have a 'hard' conversation, and uncomfortable conversations with people.
Co-Host: Peter
Highlight: The first event ever. Overall better than expected.
Favorite question of the night: What do you think you can learn from grief?
What do you mean I can actually take control over my own life and do something about this horrible feeling of wanting human connection and don't have it?
That was kind of the question I was asking to my therapist a random day in June 2023. I was very upset over the idea of not having the
02
Migratory Grief
Where do the topic came from: I wanted to keep the ball moving and took the risk to reach out to Diana with the idea of hosting an event for women only to invite our friends.
Co-Host: Diana
Highlight: First event with women only. Such a safe space
Favorite question of the night: How do you find and build relationships with your new 'chosen family'?
03
Vulnerability and Human Connection
Where do the topic came from: In the last event, Ganesha reached out. I loved it. We had such great conversations around the topic while preparing the event.
Co-Host: Ganesha
Highlight: First event with another activity besides from talking. Got new ideas and co-hosts
Favorite question of the night: How is vulnerability related to human connection